Archive for Bad fashion

It’s Curtains For Beyonce….

Posted in Beyonce Kowles, fashion, Funky Fashion Faux Pas, Movies, red carpet with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 28, 2009 by Kenya

Well, Beyonce’s subpar thriller “Obsessed” opened to the tune of 28 1/2 milli…well at least that’s what’s being told, I really wouldn’t put it past her “machine” to inflate numbers.  Anyway, I heard that she was as corpse like as ever.  I myself have no interest in seeing it because I’ve seen “Play Misty for Me” with Clint Eastwood, and Jessica Walters, and “Fatal Attraction” with Glenn Close and Michael Douglas…and I have no desire to see a bad copy, although if you’d like to see it without paying, I’ll give you a link!  Anyway, enough about the movie, let’s talk about the premeire, and that dress she wore on the red carpet.  Let’s dissect this mess, because that’s what I love to do.

It was typical Beyonce on the red carpet for her movie obsessed.  She crossed her T’s and dotted her I’s, as usual.

Dead -deer- eyes- caught- in -the- headlights expression…..CHECK!

please, won't someone help me?

please, won't someone help me?

 

Lopsided boob job……CHECK!

do plastic surgeons give refunds?

do plastic surgeons give refunds?

Trashy, ill-fitting dress made from Liberace’s window treatments…..CHECK!

Tacky Tina's been playing with the rhinestones, glue gun, an extra fabric again....

Tacky Tina's been playing with the rhinestones, glue gun, an extra fabric again....

Robotic pose  and Miss America wave …….CHECK!

sorry bey, the tinman role has already been taken

sorry bey, the tin-man role has already been taken

Plastic smile that never touches her eyes…..CHECK!

i'm not smiling, my mouth is stuck

i'm not smiling, my mouth is stuck

man, this chic knows we have the gun, yet she keeps giving us the ammunition.  On the bright side, at least she took the time to shave her armpits, and  had the decency not to show up with chipped fingernail polish.  Love you Bey!

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Oscar Red Carpet Fashion….Part Deux

Posted in Award Shows, Beyonce Kowles, fashion, Funky Fashion Faux Pas, red carpet with tags , , , , , , on February 23, 2009 by Kenya

For every well dressed red carpet walker, there’s a couple who should have stayed home.  It pains me to say that Jada Pinkett was a definite dissapointment in Roberto Cavalli Resort.  This gown would have been ab-fab if it fit.  Jada is a tiny woman, and this gown just seems to swallow her up.  There is no evidence that Jada has a waist, and she could have used the services of a tailor to have it altered.  As it stands, she should have left it in the closet. 

Jada I know you're in there somewhere!

Jada I know you're in there somewhere!

 

Am I the only one who’s too through with Beyonce’s obsession with Mermaid Couture?  You can always count on this one to show up on the red carpet in something that sparkles, looks cheap, or has mermaid fins, or in most cases…all three! 

 

Beyonce loves all things metalic, tight, and fishy!

Beyonce loves all things metalic, tight, and fishy!

 

Now I’m not saying the dress is hopeless, like alot of others are,  because I can see the potential, so I’m going to give it a re-mix.  It seemed that every gown on the red carpet was floor length.  Cut the mermaid fins off, and bring the length to just under the knees, and I believe it would have looked alot better.  The pattern seems to be too damn much.  One rule to remember when wearing patterns, is that if your a small woman, keep the pattern small.  This dress could have worked if it were shorter.  I’m also glad she passed up that horrible “Sasha” hair don’t, but some chandelier earrings, and maybe a gold cuff  would have balanced her out nicely.  Oh and lose the robot pose already!

What’s With Granny’s Pantyhose

Posted in Beyonce Kowles, fashion, Funky Fashion Faux Pas with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on February 18, 2009 by Kenya

Back in the day, women who didn’t wear pantyhose were thought of as unladylike.  Today women still wearing pantyhose are just clueless.  Here’s everyone’s dead-eyed poptart, Beyonce at the All-Star game in Pheonix this weekend.  Eva Langoria looks casually cute.

Beyonce in Tina's nylons

Beyonce in Tina's nylons

 

Beyonce flunks once again.  I don’t  have any problems with the cut-off shorts, but the pantyhose and peep toed shoes are just offensive.  Nobody wears nude stockings anymore.  It’s like wearing socks with a pair of strappy sandals…illogical.  Also, the sunglasses inside is just pretentious. 

On second thought, those shorts look like a yeast infection ready to happen.  Ladies, your shorts are too tight when you have pleats eminating from your goodie-box area.  Also, how much sense does it make to wear a scarf wrapped around your neck, with a pair of cut off shorts? 

 

Photo courtesy of Concrete Loop