Archive for the Funky Fashion Faux Pas Category

It’s Curtains For Beyonce….

Posted in Beyonce Kowles, fashion, Funky Fashion Faux Pas, Movies, red carpet with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 28, 2009 by Kenya

Well, Beyonce’s subpar thriller “Obsessed” opened to the tune of 28 1/2 milli…well at least that’s what’s being told, I really wouldn’t put it past her “machine” to inflate numbers.  Anyway, I heard that she was as corpse like as ever.  I myself have no interest in seeing it because I’ve seen “Play Misty for Me” with Clint Eastwood, and Jessica Walters, and “Fatal Attraction” with Glenn Close and Michael Douglas…and I have no desire to see a bad copy, although if you’d like to see it without paying, I’ll give you a link!  Anyway, enough about the movie, let’s talk about the premeire, and that dress she wore on the red carpet.  Let’s dissect this mess, because that’s what I love to do.

It was typical Beyonce on the red carpet for her movie obsessed.  She crossed her T’s and dotted her I’s, as usual.

Dead -deer- eyes- caught- in -the- headlights expression…..CHECK!

please, won't someone help me?

please, won't someone help me?

 

Lopsided boob job……CHECK!

do plastic surgeons give refunds?

do plastic surgeons give refunds?

Trashy, ill-fitting dress made from Liberace’s window treatments…..CHECK!

Tacky Tina's been playing with the rhinestones, glue gun, an extra fabric again....

Tacky Tina's been playing with the rhinestones, glue gun, an extra fabric again....

Robotic pose  and Miss America wave …….CHECK!

sorry bey, the tinman role has already been taken

sorry bey, the tin-man role has already been taken

Plastic smile that never touches her eyes…..CHECK!

i'm not smiling, my mouth is stuck

i'm not smiling, my mouth is stuck

man, this chic knows we have the gun, yet she keeps giving us the ammunition.  On the bright side, at least she took the time to shave her armpits, and  had the decency not to show up with chipped fingernail polish.  Love you Bey!

Images

Tina Knowles Must Be Stopped!

Posted in Beyonce Kowles, fashion, Funky Fashion Faux Pas on April 5, 2009 by Kenya

along with her merry band of designers by any means necessary!  I’ve said it before, this woman is NOT a designer!  just take a look at the latest House Of Dereon crap that she’s trying to sell….

Who wears this mess?

Who wears this mess?

This is just gross!  The shoes look like track shoes with a fake Gucci heel, and the outfit itself looks as if it were made for some hippy call girl.  Who on Earth would wear this crazy contraption?  Beyonce’s legs look amazing, but that outfit kills my pupils.  Dang, Tina is just as bad as her ugly husband, both of them are going to use this girl until there’s nothing left.

Oscar Red Carpet Fashion….Part Deux

Posted in Award Shows, Beyonce Kowles, fashion, Funky Fashion Faux Pas, red carpet with tags , , , , , , on February 23, 2009 by Kenya

For every well dressed red carpet walker, there’s a couple who should have stayed home.  It pains me to say that Jada Pinkett was a definite dissapointment in Roberto Cavalli Resort.  This gown would have been ab-fab if it fit.  Jada is a tiny woman, and this gown just seems to swallow her up.  There is no evidence that Jada has a waist, and she could have used the services of a tailor to have it altered.  As it stands, she should have left it in the closet. 

Jada I know you're in there somewhere!

Jada I know you're in there somewhere!

 

Am I the only one who’s too through with Beyonce’s obsession with Mermaid Couture?  You can always count on this one to show up on the red carpet in something that sparkles, looks cheap, or has mermaid fins, or in most cases…all three! 

 

Beyonce loves all things metalic, tight, and fishy!

Beyonce loves all things metalic, tight, and fishy!

 

Now I’m not saying the dress is hopeless, like alot of others are,  because I can see the potential, so I’m going to give it a re-mix.  It seemed that every gown on the red carpet was floor length.  Cut the mermaid fins off, and bring the length to just under the knees, and I believe it would have looked alot better.  The pattern seems to be too damn much.  One rule to remember when wearing patterns, is that if your a small woman, keep the pattern small.  This dress could have worked if it were shorter.  I’m also glad she passed up that horrible “Sasha” hair don’t, but some chandelier earrings, and maybe a gold cuff  would have balanced her out nicely.  Oh and lose the robot pose already!

What’s With Granny’s Pantyhose

Posted in Beyonce Kowles, fashion, Funky Fashion Faux Pas with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on February 18, 2009 by Kenya

Back in the day, women who didn’t wear pantyhose were thought of as unladylike.  Today women still wearing pantyhose are just clueless.  Here’s everyone’s dead-eyed poptart, Beyonce at the All-Star game in Pheonix this weekend.  Eva Langoria looks casually cute.

Beyonce in Tina's nylons

Beyonce in Tina's nylons

 

Beyonce flunks once again.  I don’t  have any problems with the cut-off shorts, but the pantyhose and peep toed shoes are just offensive.  Nobody wears nude stockings anymore.  It’s like wearing socks with a pair of strappy sandals…illogical.  Also, the sunglasses inside is just pretentious. 

On second thought, those shorts look like a yeast infection ready to happen.  Ladies, your shorts are too tight when you have pleats eminating from your goodie-box area.  Also, how much sense does it make to wear a scarf wrapped around your neck, with a pair of cut off shorts? 

 

Photo courtesy of Concrete Loop

Beyonce Spotted Looking Rough Around The Edges

Posted in Beyonce Kowles, fashion, Funky Fashion Faux Pas, It's a Damn Shame, red carpet on February 11, 2009 by Kenya

Look, I know these past two weeks have been hard on the robot diva, what with being threatened by  a seventy-one year old woman, losing the Grammy to Aicia Keyes, and watching Jennifer make a magnificent come back, then the drama that put Rihanna at the center of attention, not to mention being ditched staying at home while your husband party’s with your sister…well it can really take it’s toll on you.  Beyonce finally poked her head out of a mouse-hole, and showed up in Beverly Hills and this is the best she could do…

This girl is hopeless!

This girl is hopeless!

 

The necklace is a statement piece, and the outfit didn’t need anything else going on.  The whole look is too black, too busy.  And what’s with those fingernails?  She took the time to get dressed, but not to have a manicure?  I mean it’s not like she grinds in an office all day, and then comes home to tend to a bunch of children, so there’s really no excuse in coming to an event with chipped, black nail polish.  Yuck, that’s tacky and makes me wonder what else she skipped.  Ever notice how her smile stops short of reaching her eyes? Beyonce with all of her fame, and money is miserable.  I feel sorry for her sometimes.

Photo courtesy of Concrete Loop

Grammy Fashion..The Good, Bad, and What In Hell?

Posted in Award Shows, Diddy, Funky Fashion Faux Pas, Jay Z, Jennifer Hudson, Keyshia Cole, Love Those Shoes!, red carpet, Solange Knowles with tags , , , , , on February 10, 2009 by Kenya

As we all know, The 51st Annual Grammy Awards went down lastnight in Los Angeles, and aside from the drama of the Brown Beatdown, there was some fashion drama on the red carpet.  Let’s take a look at what the best and brightest in the music industry graced the red carpet wearing. 

BTW…Beyonce was a no show, and she didn’t win the
Grammy.  I’m really surprised since she would show up at the opening of a door.  I think the clock is ticking on her popularity.

It’s Nice To See Jennifer Smiling, But the Outfit Has To Go!

Posted in fashion, Funky Fashion Faux Pas, Hudsons, Jennifer Hudson with tags , , , , on February 7, 2009 by Kenya

Now that JHud is back on the scene, and seems to be coming to terms with her family tragedy, I can go back to critiquing her clothes.  Here’s Miss Jen @ an event for “Music Cares, and I gotta tell you, I’m not thrilled about the gold business blazer, or those awful gladiator sandals that look a little too small. 

Not that the outfit can’t be salvaged if she’d take off the jacket and donate it to Goodwill, along with the shoes.  Jennifer’s lost some weight which given what happened is perfectly normal.  She’s looking good, and she’s sporting a big smile, which always looks good.  I just don’t want to see her start “going Hollywood” and losing so much weight she looks like a bauble-head, like a certain someone.  Anyway,  my fave Dreamgirl is up for four Grammy’s this year, and I’m sure she’ll take at least one home.  That will make an Oscar, and a Grammy.  Now if she can just win a Tony, she’ll have upstaged Beyonce once again!

Jennifer in L.A.  She should have re-thought the jacket and shoes.

Jennifer in L.A. She should have re-thought the jacket and shoes.

 

Photo courtesy of Concrete Loop