Tiny’s Pain…I Feel You

Wow, I was checking my email, and saw a link to an article about Tiny, TI’s signif other losing her daughter.  I know she’s supposed to be pregnant, but did she lose the baby?  Or did this happen some time ago?   I don’t know.  Anyway, I lost one of my son’s this last September, and I can definitely feel her pain.  I cried while reading of the way she chose to say goodbye to her daughter, read it here, and felt compelled to share my own story, as it is what keeps me from wanting to rip out my hair.  Had my own pregnancy progressed the way it was supposed to, he’d be less than a month old right now, but as it stands he was taken from me without so much as a warning. 

Remembering a life that ended before it began, does it ever stop hurting?

Remembering a life that ended before it began, does it ever stop hurting?

I gave birth to my son on September 28th, 2008, and two minutes after he was born, he passed on.  I was only five months and one week into the pregnancy, and his little lungs weren’t fully developed, so he didn’t make it.  During the delivery, I’d lost alot of blood, and my body just started to convulse, so I wasn’t able to hold him.  Later that morning, I went home with a picture of his little body, and that was it.  That Monday, I just laid in the bed, and regret began eating its way into me.  I hadn’t held him, hadn’t felt his body, and didn’t even know what color eyes he had.  Tuesday morning I went back to the hospital and demanded to see my baby.  I just had to say goodbye to him even though he was gone.  The counselor arranged for me to have some time with him in one of the empty rooms on the maternity ward, and I spent a couple of hours with my baby boy.  It’s something I’ll never forget, and I will cherish the memories for the rest of my life.  I chose to have him cremated, because I didn’t want to think of his little body buried in the ground.  His remains will be with me for the rest of my days.

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4 Responses to “Tiny’s Pain…I Feel You”

  1. Sorry you or anyone has to experience that. My prayers are with you.

  2. Ms. Mizani Says:

    Wow…I just ran across this post. My heart goes out to you and others. I pray that you stay strong and continue being the warrior you have been blessed to be.

  3. thanks girl, it never stops hurting, but at least now i can think about him without having hysterics, i guess you just learn to live with it though.

  4. i dont know the feeling of loosing a child but i know that if anything happend to my baby girl i would die…it would tare me up on the inside …i lost my gpa 11 years agoi in august i was only 6 i didnt know what death was then but i sure do miiss him alot and wish he was here..but my heart goes out to you miiss ladii i could only imagine how you feel riite now…nothing kan replace you baby,but hopefully when you decide to have another one all goes well.good luck…add my myspace if you have on http://www.myspace.com/breloc...

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